我不恨,但我没法谅解

推荐人:[db:作者] 来源: 时间: 2019-06-14 16:02 阅读:
我不恨,但我没法谅解

记得小学的时候写过一篇文章,命名题《我的妈妈》,这是我唯一一篇被老师返回的文章,老师说我没有感情,文字僵硬,有点像搬抄过来的,其实那就是我搬抄过来的,因为我不知道写什么

六岁时父亲的去世,对不懂事的我打击依旧很大,直到父亲下葬前我还哭得一直吐,也许那时候并不很真实得知道那意味着什么,恐惧却一直都在,直至八岁我母亲离开之后,我才停止做这样的噩梦:我站在楼梯上,手中拿这玻璃瓶,欢快的冲站在楼梯下的父亲挥动手中的瓶子,然后父亲笑了,我摔了下来,玻璃瓶扎破了我的大腿,留下了一道像月亮似的疤痕那个即是噩梦,也是现实,因为我的腿上就有着那样的一道疤

八岁的时候,母亲的离开并没有给我多大的打击,因为在此之前,他已经改嫁他人妇,我父亲去世后的那一年,他就改嫁了,我也自然而然的跟过去当拖油瓶,第二年她就生了一个小孩,可以想象我会受到什么样的待遇,不至于和演电视一样撒狗血,但也不会很好过。在我清明回老家扫墓时,她就这样走了,什么话也没有提前说,一句话也不曾留下,我听完叔叔(后来嫁的那个人)说的之后,一句话也没有说,什么东西也没有带,在我父亲的坟前座了几个小时,接受了被抛弃的事实,哭了一场,然后回到我父亲在时的那个家,一个人,就这么过下来

现在我二十岁了,中间的酸甜苦辣,只有我自己知道,12年了 ,没有信,没有电话,没有看望,音信全无,我已经淡然接受了,别人经常问我,如果以后你妈妈回来,你会原谅她吗?从一开始的会到不会到别人已经淡忘这个问题的时候,你又出现了!

而我没有碰到你,作为一个家里没有钱供我上大学的年纪的女孩,我选择北漂,这是上帝的安排,那时候家里人打了30几通电话,因为电话不再身边而没有接,这也是上帝的安排,我想。终于,你和我通上话了,半夜9点,我仍在工作中,你说,我听不懂你在讲什么(我说的是家乡的方言),我想笑,你,又何曾想听过我的话!最后我用普通话说了一句;我和你没有什么好说的,把电话给我姑姑结束了这个通话。

姑姑说你哭的淅沥哗啦的,姑姑说你又黑又瘦,姑姑说你说你很想我,姑姑说你说你有苦衷姑姑问你,你还要我吗?你说要, 我乐了,和姑姑说,这个笑话真好笑十几年了,一切都晚了,该玩完的,早就没有续集可以上演了。

今年年初住院了,你知道我的手机号码,你还是什么也没有,电话的问候,手机信息的问候等等

这样的你还想要我说什么哪?

我不恨你 ,但我无法谅解,即使有在的苦衷,十几年的时间也变质了 那对于我来说,只是无人关心的借口,至少我不会关心,不会相信。

我不恨你,但我无法谅解

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