老爸跳广场舞竟跳出了婚外情

推荐人:匿名 来源: 网友推荐 时间: 2015-06-14 14:02 阅读:
  导语:这次他们闹离婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞,就是晚上露天广场那种交谊舞。他有个舞伴,最近跟他走得挺近乎的,有事没事就给他打电话。有时还给我老爸发短信,叫他出去跳舞……

  我今年整40岁,人说三十而立,四十不惑,怎么到了我这样的年纪,还要为了爸妈的事弄得焦头烂额呢?老爸是济南人,年轻时因为工作关系调到了哈尔滨,以后就在哈尔滨安家落户。老爸当过厂里的工程师,技术好,人也特别宽厚,一起共事过的人没有不夸他人好的??墒抢下杈筒煌?,哈尔滨本地人,脾气急躁,吵起架来也惊天动地,会引得七大姑八大姨一大帮人劝架。

  我是家里的老大,下面还有两个弟弟,弟弟们对大人吵架并不怎么在意,该玩照玩,该闹照闹。但我不能,我很小就知道帮老妈搭手干家务活,以免她在忙碌中肝火大动。再大一些,我会和老爸谈谈心,问大人之间的一些事,老爸会很郑重地告诉我,他和妈妈之间没什么大事,就是两个人脾气性格不相投,说不到一块儿去。

  跳舞惹祸 花甲时闹离婚

  后来,我们姐弟仨都成家立业,也都各自有了自己的孩子,日子过得也还说得过去,按说老爸老妈也都退休了,该知足常乐,好好安享晚年了??墒?,让我们做子女无可奈何的是,退休后爸妈是越闹越厉害了,前几天,我风风火火地赶过去,做二老的“家庭调解员”,可调解来调解去也不见效果。

  这次他们闹离婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞,就是晚上露天广场那种交谊舞。他有个舞伴,最近跟他走得挺近乎的,有事没事就给他打电话。有时还给我老爸发短信,叫他出去跳舞,比如说“我等你,务必来”“你今晚来好吗”之类的。我妈哪能容了这些事啊,三天两头的吵架。

  我妈说那个女人50多岁,没有老公,一个人过,平时总跟60多岁老头跳舞。我妈觉得我爸这是出轨,是对婚姻不忠,非要跟他离婚。我问过老爸,他说也就是和那女的跳跳舞,平时打电话说说生活上的事。他觉得挺聊得来,跟本不是我妈说的出轨。

  调解不成 我成离婚帮凶

  他们平常吵完了,顶多烦几天也就过去了,但这一次,老妈闹得特别凶。自己的亲生父母闹到离婚这一步,哪个子女愿意这样?我总想着我是亲闺女,我得两边劝着老人,可是妥协了半辈子的老爸这次态度特别坚决,他说:“忍了大半辈子,不想再忍了,这次一定要做个了断!”老妈呢,态度也很强硬,在她看来,老爸要和她离婚就是和那女人有事。

  最后,她老人家还倒打一耙,说我挑拨老爸与她离婚。老妈不只在家里说,还拿到外面说,惹得周围都是风言风语。这些我倒不怕,我是真怕爸妈这样天天闹日日闹,万一闹出个什么事来怎么办?他们都是上了岁数的人,怎么就不能好好地安享晚年呢?我是多么希望老妈和老爸能打开心结,有个幸福的晚年……

  李老师点评:

  雨萍说:“这次他们闹离婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞”,表面看是这样,是跳舞惹的祸,本质是父母的婚姻本身就有问题,把板子打在跳舞身上,打错了,跳舞只是一个导火索而已。

  从雨萍“很小就知道帮老妈搭手干家务活,以免她在忙碌中肝火大动。”“老妈脾气急躁,吵起架来惊天动地,会引得七大姑八大姨一大帮人劝架。”这些话可以看出来,父母的婚姻是很早就有问题的。只是爸爸脾气好忍下了,一忍就是几十年。

  美国有这样一个笑话:一对100岁的老夫妻闹离婚闹到法庭。法官问他们:“你们都结婚82年了,为何还要离婚?”老头回答说:“我们都觉得再也没有生活在一起的理由了,我们的孩子们都死了。” 这是一个笑话,但反应了老年人为了孩子勉强维持婚姻的情况是普遍存在的。

  从近几年的情况看,中老年人离婚率逐年上升,很多老年人离婚时都说一句话:我忍了大半辈子,现在孩子大了,我不想再忍下去了。这和雨萍爸爸说的完全一样。从雨萍的叙述看,爸爸是想继续忍下去的,是老妈的多疑激怒了爸爸,导致爸爸再也忍不下去了。

  我理解雨萍的焦虑,正如雨萍说的一样,“自己的亲生父母闹到离婚这一步,哪个子女愿意这样?”问题是:如果父母的婚姻不幸福,为何又要把他们强捆在一起呢?难道白头到老就是幸福吗?

  雨萍从小就当爸爸妈妈婚姻的“家庭调解员”,爸爸妈妈维系婚姻已经对雨萍的调解建立了依赖,妈妈有点演戏给雨萍和爸爸看的味道,实际上妈妈是不想离婚的。我建议雨萍不妨来个“撒手不管”,父母的婚姻让父母自己去解决,解决不了父母自然会来征求雨萍的意见,这时雨萍可以劝父母分开一段时间,让他们好好冷静一下。如果父母冷静思考后决定离婚,做子女的应该支持才对,而不是一厢情愿的把父母勉强捆绑在一起?;晃凰伎?,如果自己的婚姻不幸福,父母不准离婚不也是很痛苦吗?

  婚姻不幸,离婚是对不幸的修正,未必就是一件不好的事。老年人离婚,子女只要继续照顾好老人就可以了,不必一定要把他们维系在一起。

  把一对经常吵架的老人维系在一起才是容易出问题的,这一点雨萍应该知道。

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